Raise your hand if you have ever had a full-blown conversation in your head, complete with perfect quips and even better timing, just to find in the moment your palms sweating and your words sounding like a Jackson Pollock painting to some poor victim’s ears. Welcome to the world of social anxiety, where even your best-laid plans can fall to the wayside under the threat of others’ judgment.
The good news is that you are not alone. Social anxiety is a condition that affects approximately 7% of people in the United States. That equates to millions of Americans who face intense fear and anxiety in social situations, oftentimes finding these moments to be debilitating. To help you better prepare for your next social outing, we have listed six survival tips to help you manage social anxiety in your everyday walk of life.
1. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Understanding how negative thoughts contribute to social anxiety will allow you to be proactive in managing your condition by delivering sound, positive coping mechanisms. This knowledge can be a guide when your anxiety is threatening to take over.
2. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Learning methods of relaxation can help to calm your anxiety during stressful situations. Practicing techniques such as deep breath work, intentional muscle relaxation, meditation, and other strategies while in a calm environment will equip you with more control during high-stress moments.
3. Visualize
Imagine yourself in a successful social scenario. Allow the feeling of confidence to take over as you navigate an event with enjoyment and a sense of ease. It might feel silly at first, but the more you visualize yourself in various circumstances, the more prepared you will feel in the moment.
While not visual, voice recordings are another fantastic tool to use when preparing for an event. Record yourself discussing common responses, topics, and relatable interests. This practice can be a big confidence booster.
4. Set Achievable Goals
Make a list of goals you would like to reach while in high-anxiety environments. Take baby steps such as:
- Attend an event for a short time.
- Start a brief conversation.
- Make eye contact a set number of times.
- Offer a compliment to someone new.
Practice active listening.
5. Self-care
Engage in intentional self-care. You do not have to book a day at the spa to take care of yourself. We realize that times can be tough financially, so we have listed a few free/inexpensive tips to show yourself a little love on a regular basis.
- Write in a journal or notebook – writing can be cathartic. If you don’t know where to start, close your eyes for 30 seconds. Open them and write about the first thing your eyes touch. You will be amazed at how the picture across the room will open memories and feelings.
- Read a book outside – “a breath of fresh air” is a popular saying for a reason.
- Take a long bath or shower. Simply allowing a few extra minutes to wash the day away without rushing to the next moment can be just what the doctor ordered.
- Exercise – we know. It doesn’t sound super fun, but exercise releases the happy chemicals in our brain such as serotonin, endorphins, and dopamine.
- Deep breathing – turn off the lights, close the door, and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Inhale slowly for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and release slowly for seconds. Repeat 5 times.
6. Seek Support
Talking with others about your stressors will help you feel understood during times of social anxiety. Working with a therapist is a great way to learn new approaches to managing your condition. Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT), among many other science-backed practices, is successful in helping with social anxiety by enhancing awareness, positive self-perception, and cognitive restructuring of thoughts, emotions, and actions.
While not always possible, another great tip is to take a “social anxiety buddy” along for the ride – someone with whom you feel comfortable and who understands your struggles. Don’t use them as a crutch, but more a calming force when moments become too suffocating.
In conclusion
While confidently navigating your next social function is not an overnight fix, and you might never become overzealous at the thought of a crowded room, you can begin taking small steps to maneuver this tricky landscape. In a world filled with illusions of perfection, please remember you are one of many who have similar fears in social settings. Through practiced measures and a proactive plan you can begin making your way towards a future sprinkled with naturally flowing interactions.
If you feel that tackling social anxiety is too much for you to bear on your own, we at Greater Houston Counseling Services are here to help you work through the process. Book an appointment today to embark on a more peaceful tomorrow.